Life gets complicated...

When I was a little kid I LOVED to play dress up. I'd don the blanket like a saree, wear high heels, slap on some lipstick haphazardly and put up my hair in what i thought was an elegant chignon. I had tea parties with my imaginary sophisticated friends and for a few hours I revelled in the feeling of being in control. I was an adult and the world was my playground. I could be one of those fancy ladies in suits that carried those very official looking briefcases or I could be a pilot and soar over the seven seas. The point was, I was a big girl and no one could tell me what to do. 
Looking back now it's hard not to be jealous of my younger, simpler self. All I had to worry about was a fifteen minute extension on beddy-bye time and whether or not i could eat TWO scoops of ice-crem.
I miss the feeling of being deliriously happy.

Goodwill Hunting.

Goodwill hunting stars Matt Damon, Robbie Williams, Ben Affleck and Minnie Driver. If you've watched it already you know how brilliant it is, if you haven't i'm telling you it is so WATCH IT!!

Synopsis: A janitor at MIT, Will Hunting has a gift for maths that can take him light-years beyond his blue-collar roots, but to achieve his dream he must turn his back on the neighborhood and his best friend. To complicate matters, two strangers enter the equation: a washed-up shrink who starts to coach Will through his transformation, and a med student who shows him that there can be a pretty face along with his life of the mind.

One of my favorite parts of the movie is a scene between Sean the shrink and Will.

Sean -"So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him && the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there && looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that.

If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman && feel truly happy. You're a tough kid.

I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? 'Once more unto the breach, dear friends.' But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.

I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman && been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. && You wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. && You wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. && I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.

Look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, && you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?

Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are, then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that, do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say..

Your move, chief."


Brilliant non? It gets you thinking about how book knowledge is not everything. It's your experiences in life and what you learn from them that makes a difference. You could be the smartest person anyone has ever come across but no one is going to appreciate it if you're just some cocky know- it-all with a personality of an ass.

Emergency Exit Please.

You ever wonder what would happen if everyone had an emergency exit.. You know like the ones on a bus or in a public place? There's a fire. Don't worry, just keep calm and move towards the exit.
Well what if each of us had a secret window or a remote tucked away somewhere. When the going gets tough you bail. No drama no action no tears. A simple click and you're gone, maybe into the past so you can choose right this time again or maybe Into the future where everything is already resolved. Kind of like a fast forward button.
You know how they say failure is the steppig stone to success? Well, when you're in quicksand and sinking fast and there are no 'stones' to step on where do you go from there?

I need a little sunshine, i'm tired of the sunset.

It's the same routine day in and day out.

Wake up. *mumble incoherent sentences*

Colgate. Newspaper. Get interrogated about the progress of my preparation for the finals by my parents.

Stare at the calendar.

Tell myself that TODAY is the day i get serious about my studies.

*Open books*

Two minutes later i'm paying Zombie Cafe.